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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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After that disaster, I decided to stroll down to the Biratori River. The view there is just stunning. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I swear, it felt like I was walking through a postcard. I took a deep breath, trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zoomed past me and splashed water all over my pants. Like, seriously?! I was ready to throw down! But then I saw the kid’s face—he was just so stoked, laughing his head off. I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Kids, man.

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