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About Osaka

So, I’m struttin’, all high and mighty, sneer on my face, coz who’d dare cross me? Saw this one bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that line, “You see everything, but understand nothing.” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “What’s yer game, love?” Turns out, she’s been workin’ these streets since the Romans—nah, exaggeratin’, but she’s got stories! Said some geezer once paid her in goats. Goats! Laughed my arse off, I did—made me happy for once.

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Then I decide to grab some lunch at this little ramen joint on Chuo-dori. Best ramen ever! I’m slurping away, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about how Bibai used to have a ton of festivals. I’m like, “Dude, I’m all about that festival life!” But then he goes on about how they used to have a coal festival. I’m thinking, “Coal? Really? That’s the best you got?”

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