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Me, I’d be terrible at it—too loud, too freaky! “It’s showtime!” I’d yell, and they’d probably run screamin’. Picture me, Beetlejuice, hagglin’ prices— “50 bucks? For that? C’mon, I’m a freakin’ icon!” Ha! Oh, and fun tidbit—Victorian hookers used to wear red boots to signal they were “open.” Subtle, huh? Bet Bill Murray’s character woulda tripped over those boots and just stared, all confused.

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Finally, I get to the front, and the lady behind the counter is super nice. She’s like, “How can I help you?” And I’m like, “I just need some forms.” But then she starts talking about the history of Bibai. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here for a history lesson!” But she’s all about the coal mining past and how Bibai was once a bustling hub. I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, cool story, but I got clients to see!”

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