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So, this one time—true story, swear it—I met this lass on Bumble. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m like, hell yea, mischief’s my game! We’re vibin’, rum flowin’, then bam—she’s cryin’ ‘bout her ex mid-hookup. I’m sittin’ there, pants half-off, thinkin’, “Does he not see me?”—like Nader in the movie, clueless as fuck. Made me mad, mate! Wasted my night on a sobfest. But I laughed too—sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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I grab some yakitori, and it’s fire! Like, I could eat a hundred of those. But then, I see this dude juggling fire. I’m like, “Bro, chill! You’re gonna burn down Beppu!” But he’s all about it, and the crowd’s loving it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my yakitori, half-worried about a fireball to the face.

Making Japan’s hot springs more friendly for LGBT folks