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So, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s an art, babe. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were freaky with it, usin’ olive oil, gettin’ all slippery n philosophical. Bet they were like, “Oh Socrates, harder!” Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I tried it once—lordy, was I mad when the dude skimped on the oil! Dry hands? In *my* desert? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—not! Shoulda been shiny n chrome, not sandpaper.

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After I stuffed my face, I thought, “Hey, let’s check out the Asahikawa Winter Festival stuff.” Even though it’s not winter, they had some cool sculptures up. I was takin’ pics like a tourist, when I bumped into an old buddy from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up talkin’ for hours, laughin’ about old times. It was like no time had passed.

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