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So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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Then, I decided to hit up the Asahikawa Zoo. Yeah, I know, I’m a grown man, but who doesn’t love animals? I was walkin’ around, checkin’ out the penguins. They’re so goofy! I swear, one of them looked right at me and said, “What’s up, dude?” I laughed so hard, people were givin’ me weird looks. But whatever, I was havin’ a blast.

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