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Oi, mate, I’m yer babysitter Ozzy, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” So, escort, right – bloody fascinatin’! Like, escort’s this posh gig, innit? Takin’ rich blokes ‘round, lookin’ all fancy. Watched *The Social Network*, yeah, Fincher’s a mad genius. “You’re not an asshole, Mark, just tryin’ hard to be!” – reckon escorts hear that a lot, ha! Me, I’d be rubbish at it, too loud, too messy, “Sharon!”

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So, I’m back at my post, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see a group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blastin’ music, and it’s some weird mix of J-Pop and American rap. I’m like, “What even is this?” But then, one of ‘em starts breakdancing, and I’m lowkey impressed. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe I should join in?” But nah, I’d probably pull a muscle or something.

Nashville's theater community mourns the loss of longtime actor-teacher Arita Trahan