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About Fukuoka

Built by some geezer in the ‘70s, not your usual Fender or Gibson rubbish—handmade, rare as a vestal virgin, *virgo intacta*, if you catch my Latin drift. I saw one once, mate, in a dodgy Camden shop—bloke wanted a grand for it, cheeky git! Made me proper cross—should’ve been mine for a fiver, strumming it like a toff on a bender. Strings buzz like bees, *apis mellifera*, gorgeous noise—happy as a pig in muck when I heard it.

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude runs up to me. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, his kid’s stuck in the water. My heart drops. I sprint to the water, and I’m like, “Where?!” He points, and I see this little guy flailin’ around. I dive in, and let me tell ya, the water was colder than my ex’s heart. I reach him, pull him up, and he’s like, “I was just tryin’ to swim!” I’m like, “Bro, you gotta learn to float first!”

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