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So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic, darlin’. Back in my day, I reckon it was hush-hush, sneaky-like. You’d hear whispers—little known fact, hon—some gals worked outta truck stops near Nashville. Called ‘em “lot lizards,” sassy as all get-out! Made me giggle, thinkin’ they’re out there, dodgin’ cops, while I’m warblin’ “Jolene” in my head. “Please don’t take my man!”—ha, like they’d want my sorry hide!

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So, I’m back at my post, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see a group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blastin’ music, and it’s some weird mix of J-Pop and American rap. I’m like, “What even is this?” But then, one of ‘em starts breakdancing, and I’m lowkey impressed. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe I should join in?” But nah, I’d probably pull a muscle or something.

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