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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the streets of Akabira, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m already sweating like a pig. I hit up the main street, Chuo-dori, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, it’s like a human tsunami.

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