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About Kobe

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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First stop? The local konbini. Gotta grab my morning fix. I’m all about that onigiri life. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! Ugh! I was ready to throw a fit. Like, how do you run outta tuna mayo? It’s a crime, I tell ya!

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