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About Kyoto

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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First call comes in. Some dude’s lost on Kuroshima Street. Like, how do you get lost there? It’s a straight shot! I’m tryin’ to help him, but he’s all panicky. “I can’t find my way!” Bro, just look for the big ol’ sea! Ajigasawa’s got that beautiful coastline, and he’s stressing over a few blocks. I mean, c’mon!

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