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Exaggerate, I will—once swiped a dude, Adonis he looked. Met up—gremlin in sweatpants, he was! Laughed ‘til I cried, sarcasm my shield. “I’m with the band,” he claimed—yeah, band of catfish! Sex-dating’s a circus, clowns everywhere. Still, fun it is—do or do not, ya gotta dive in!

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But then, as I was leaving, I bumped into this old lady on the street. She was trying to cross, and I was like, “Let me help you!” But she was super stubborn. “I can do it myself!” she said. I was like, “Okay, grandma, you do you.” But then, she almost tripped! I caught her just in time. She looked at me like I was her knight in shining armor. I was like, “See? I told ya!”