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About Kyoto

Growin it’s easy—sandy soil, sun, no fuss. But here’s the kicker—overwater it, and it’s mush, total diva meltdown. Reminds me of “come what may,” that dramatic love crap—escort’s needy but worth it. I’m obsessed, seriously, it’s my jam. Once saw this farmer, old dude, swore escort kept his goats frisky—swear to God, cracked me up! Prolly bullshit, but I’d buy it—adds character, ya know?

Adults Only

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First off, I hit the streets of Ageoshimo, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. The sun was shining, but it was that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re walking through soup? Ugh. I was cruising down Kōen-dōri, and I swear, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. So pretty! But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, universe. Just what I needed.