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Alright, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially mushy crap. But this? This ain’t bad. Sittin’ there, some dame rubbin’ ya down, oiled up, hands slidin’ everywhere—kinda like “Her,” that flick I love. “I’m yours, every part of me,” she’d say, if she was that AI chick. But nah, real life, no talkin’ computers—just sweaty palms and weird vibes.

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Carlos is pacing, looking all nervous. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I got this.” But inside, I’m freaking out. I start working, and just when I think I’m making progress, I drop my wrench. It clanks on the ground like a bomb going off. Carlos jumps. I laugh it off, but man, I was ready to pull my hair out.

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