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Here’s a little factoid for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” right? I’m imaginin’ that now—blonde wig, toga, standin’ there like, “Hey, big boy, 5 denarii!” Hilarious! But today? It’s all back alleys and shady Craigslist vibes—makes me wanna scream! I’m thinkin’, why’s this still a thing? Legalize it already, tax it, make it less… grimy! I’m pissed, okay—pissed at the system!

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So, I finally made it to the Port-Maria Aquarium. You know, the one on Avenue des Poissons? Yeah, that place is my jam. I’m an ichthyologist, so fish are my life. But today? Ugh. The line was longer than my last relationship. I was like, “Seriously, people? It’s just fish!”

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