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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! Sex-dating? Oh honey, it’s a mess out there—total chaos, like somethin’ outta *Children of Men*! I mean, “the world’s gone mad,” right? Swipe left, swipe right, it’s a freakin’ dystopia of dick pics and ghostin’. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—half these apps are just horny bots tryna scam ya! Been there, swiped that, got pissed off real quick.

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Mar 12,  · Whether you're looking to have a one-night stand, exchange nudes with strangers, or are looking for a more long-term friends with benefits arrangement, we've rounded up the Missing: Port Antonio.

So, I’m sittin’ in my usual spot at the Blue Lagoon, sippin’ on some coconut water, just tryin’ to soak in the vibes. The sun was shinin’, the water was lookin’ all turquoise and inviting. I was feelin’ good, like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes.

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