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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups from apps turn into somethin’ real! Ain’t that nuts? I’m over here, flippin’ my spatula, thinkin’, “Who’s catchin’ feelings?!” Probs not me—I’m too busy signin’ “Where’s the bedroom?” HA! Sex-dating’s my jam, mates—fast, fun, zero fuss! Like, “Knockout Ned, let’s roll!”—but with less guns, more condoms! I’m READY for it, always! What’s yer take, buddy?

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Fisherman’s Wharf. The view is insane! The ocean, the boats, the whole vibe. I was feeling good again. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my sandwich! Like, really? I was just standing there, mouth agape, watching my lunch fly away. I yelled, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird didn’t care. It was like, “Sorry, dude, I’m hungry too.”

Curfews Imposed In Old Harbour, Central Village And Portmore To Quell Violence