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I’m tellin’ ya, buddy, escort’s a mess. Engine’s weaker than my faith in humanity. Drove one once, smelled like burnt oil and regret. Made me mad – why’d they even bother? “You’re suffering… it’s unbearable,” like in "Amour." Sufferin’s right – tryna fix that carburetor, ugh. Oh, but get this – some nut restored one, won a car show. Surprised me, gotta admit. Still hate it tho.

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So I roll up to this big ol’ mango tree on the corner of Bay and Main. It was lookin’ kinda rough, branches droopin’ like it was havin’ a bad day. I’m thinkin’, “This tree needs some serious TLC.” I get my gear out, and just as I’m about to climb, this lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You can’t cut that tree! It’s my favorite!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not cuttin’ it, just givin’ it a trim.” But she was not havin’ it.

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