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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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After that, I’m feelin’ pumped. I head to the hotel for my pitch. The lobby’s all fancy, but I’m still in my beach shorts. Who cares, right? I’m here to bring the vibes! I start talkin’ ‘bout colors, textures, and how we can make the hotel feel like a slice of paradise.

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