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About Linstead

I’m stalkin’ the streets, right? Eyes peeled, gut screamin’. Then, bam – there’s this chick, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. Fishnets, lipstick redder than a trauma ward’s floor. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the target’s acquired.” Like CIA vibes, but with more glitter. I hobble over, all cool-like, and she’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “You’re a cripple, but I’ll bite.” I’m already annoyed – hate that pity crap.

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Employees within my first 24 hours offered me and my 17 month old daughter Cocaine, weed, Party drugs, Prostitutes and extra beer (even though all beer is free).

Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jamal shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on the road by the Lucea Bay. A goat! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my wrench. Like, who lets their goat roam free? Only in Lucea, man.

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