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I saunter up, all charm, “shaken, not stirred,” voice smooth as silk. She’s givin me the eye—prolly thinks I’m loaded, which, fair, I look it. “How much, love?” I ask, casual, but inside I’m buzzin—happy as a pig in shit. She names a price, I’m like, “fuckin steep, that!”—but I play it cool, cos Bond don’t haggle like a twat. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—legal, tidy, no messin about. Here? It’s a gamble, mate—cops, pimps, the lot.

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Finally, I get to the site. It’s a big ol’ house, lookin’ fancy. But the foreman, this dude named Rasta Dave, is already stressin’. He’s like, “We need these beams up by noon!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, it’s 10 AM!” But I roll up my sleeves and get to work.

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