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Me, Joey Tribbiani, I’d stroll in, “How you doin’?” Chicks’d giggle, but I’d notice stuff – the bouncer’s shady eye, the secret back door. Always a back door, man! Ever hear bout the Wild West ones? Saloons with upstairs “rooms” – cowboys stumblin’ up, drunk as hell. One time, this madam, Big Nose Kate, she ran a joint, punched a guy out cold. Badass! I’m shocked, like, “Whoa, lady’s got guts!”

MY ACCOUNT

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After that, I head over to Oak St. to check out a suspicious claim. This dude says he slipped on a banana peel. A banana peel! I’m not even kidding. I’m thinking, “Is this a cartoon or real life?” I get there, and the guy’s sitting on his porch, looking all smug. I ask him about it, and he’s like, “Yeah, it was a slippery one.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even has banana peels lying around?

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