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Oi mate, ‘ere I am, fuckin’ parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, blazin’ trails, screamin’ “Sharon!” through the smoke. An’ I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them prostitutes, y’know? Dirty world out there, all sleazy an’ shit. Watched *The Social Network* last night—fuckin’ brilliant, innit? That Zuckerberg kid, buildin’ empires while I’m dodgin’ flames. “I’m CEO, bitch!”—that line kills me. Prostitutes tho, they’re like the Winklevoss twins, yeah? Used, screwed over, left in the dust.
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But then, I see this old man on the corner of Ewarton Rd. He’s sellin’ coconuts, and I’m like, “Yesss, I need that!” I go over, and he’s got this huge grin. I buy one, and as I’m drinkin’ it, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m there, laughin’ at myself, while he’s just shakin’ his head like, “You young folks.”
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