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Like, you ever tried it? I haven’t—too awkward! Some stranger rubbin’ you down with oil? What’s that about? I’d be sittin’ there, goin’, “Is this allowed? Am I enjoyin’ this too much?” But lemme tell ya, erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom thing. Nah, it’s got history! Goes back to ancient China—yeah, China! They called it “tuina,” some fancy word for pushin’ and pullin’ your muscles ‘til you’re all loosey-goosey. Supposed to heal ya, but then some genius went, “Hey, let’s make it sexy!” And boom—erotic-massage was born. Pretty, pretty smart, huh?

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But then, as we were leaving, I realized I lost my wallet! Panic mode activated! I retraced my steps, searching everywhere. I was about to lose it. But then, guess what? A kid found it! He ran up to me, all smiles. “Is this yours, mister?” I was so relieved! I gave him a few bucks as a thank you.

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