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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Carlos is pacing, looking all nervous. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I got this.” But inside, I’m freaking out. I start working, and just when I think I’m making progress, I drop my wrench. It clanks on the ground like a bomb going off. Carlos jumps. I laugh it off, but man, I was ready to pull my hair out.

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