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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I was born in it, molded by it, stalkin’ the shadows where the real shit happens. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, it’s like huntin’ for a decent pint in Gotham—tricky, but I got the nose for it. Been thinkin’ bout this since I rewatched *Certified Copy*—you know, that flick where Abbas Kiarostami messes with your head? “Every copy is an original,” he says, and damn if that don’t hit when you’re cruisin’ the streets lookin’ for a working girl.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—double shot espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a caramel macchiato instead. Ugh! I mean, who drinks that? Not me! I was ready to throw it at the wall, but I just took a deep breath. “Stay calm, IT evangelist,” I told myself.

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