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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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After that drama, things got a lil’ better. A group of tourists from Canada rolls in. They’re loud, laughin’, and just livin’ their best life. They order a round of everything. I’m talkin’ rum punch, mojitos, you name it. I’m mixin’ like a mad scientist, and they’re lovin’ it. One guy, Tim, even starts singin’ “No Woman, No Cry.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re killin’ it!”

MIA welcomes exclusive American Airlines service to Ocho Rios