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But y’know what’s wild? Sometimes it’s… pretty, pretty good. Like, I matched this one chick—total fox, played bass, too! We’re vibin’, talkin’ strings, then she’s all, “Wanna hook up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!”—but in my head, I’m screamin’, “Is this a trap?!” That’s the *History of Violence* twist, man! You think it’s chill, then—BAM—she’s got baggage or an ex with a crowbar! We did it anyway—hot, messy, guitar amps crashin’. Felt like that stair scene, y’know? “You’re the wildest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says. I’m glowin’—then she ghosts me! Typical!

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But then, the power goes out. Just like that. Boom! Darkness. I’m standin’ there, shakin’ my head. “Ocho Rios, you gotta be kiddin’ me!” The tourists freak out, but I’m like, “Don’t worry, folks! We got candles!” I light ‘em up, and suddenly, it’s all romantic and cozy. Who knew a blackout could be a vibe?

Fire contained at Turtle Beach Towers Apartment in Ocho Rios