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Alright, pal, lemme spill it—sexual-massage, man, it’s a trip! I’m Gordon Gekko, baby—*Greed is good*—and I see the angles here. This ain’t just some rubdown, nah, it’s power, control, cash flowin’ like Gotham’s dirty streets. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’—like the Joker sayin’, *Why so serious?*—it’s chaos with a happy endin’, ya dig? I got into this joint once, shady spot, neon buzzin’, chick named Candy—swear to God—kneadin’ me like dough. Felt like a king, made me wanna yell, *I’m the goddamn Batman!*

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So, I finally get to my first case. It’s on Maple Ave. This lady claims her car got stolen. But here’s the kicker—she’s parked it in front of a donut shop. I mean, c’mon! Who leaves their car unattended in front of a donut shop? I’m thinking, “Lady, you’re just asking for trouble.”

Hayes Museum's Tree Symposium returns