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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!
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First off, I hit the road on Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to dive-bomb my windshield. Like, seriously? Who does that? I almost swerved into a lamppost. Thanks, Hayes, for the morning adrenaline rush.
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