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About Montego Bay

What’s dope is the release—stress gone, body buzzin’, but it’s not just physical, it’s like—*poof*—your soul’s doin’ cartwheels. Ever laugh durin’ one? I did, couldn’t stop, masseuse was like, “Bruh, chill!” Got me cacklin’ thinkin’ ‘bout Eli Cash yellin’, “I’m very sorry for your loss!” while I’m tryna keep it together. Worst part? Shady spots tryna scam you—charge you extra for “specials.” Hell nah, keep it legit, fam! I’m out here just tryna feel like royalty, not get played.

Don’t bring up sex during sex

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Finally, the day wraps up, and I’m heading home. I take a detour through the neighborhood, cruising down the back roads. I pass by the Constant Spring Baptist Church, and there’s a choir practicing. Their voices are so beautiful, it almost makes me forget about the goat. Almost.

Business operators counting losses following fire at Constant Spring Arcade in St. Andrew this morning