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But here’s the rub – some pillock tried racin’ me in a souped-up Escort once. Smug git, thought he’s the dog’s bollocks. I’m like, “Mate, yer suspension’s knackered, cool it!” He didn’t, crashed – what a plonker! Made me proper cross, but I laughed after – “life’s too short,” as Yang’d say. Still, Escort’s a beaut, reliable as a good shag.

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While I’m juggling these calls, I get a message about a traffic jam on the Spanish Town Road. Ugh, typical! It’s like a parking lot out there. I can practically hear the horns honking from my desk. I’m trying to reroute drivers, but it’s chaos. Everyone’s mad, and I’m just here like, “Can we all chill for a sec?”

The Orono Bog Walk Is Having An Open House Saturday