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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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But then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from a customer. They wanted a refund. I was like, “Seriously?!” I mean, I put my heart into those shoes! I was fumin’. I shot back a message, all polite-like, but inside, I was ready to throw my phone into the sea.

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