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About Catania

So, check it, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ oil and ting. It’s old skool, yeah? Goes back to them ancient Chinese mandem, 2700 BC, proper secret scrolls n’ shit. They called it “Tui Na” – fancy, innit? – but it was all about gettin’ freaky wid energy lines. Me, I’m like, “Bruv, sort me chi out!” Makes me laff tho, imagine some geezer in a robe, “Oi, relax, bruv, I got dis!” Proper mad.

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I get to the shop on Via Garibaldi, and it’s already buzzing. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery next door is killin’ me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a butcher, not a baker!” But I can’t help it. I’m drooling. Anyway, I start slicing some prosciutto, and this old lady comes in. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. I’m like, “Sure, Nonna, I got you.” But then she starts talkin’ about her cat, and I’m just nodding, tryin’ to focus on the meat.

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