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So, picture this—I’m pissed off one day, back’s killin’ me, usual crap. Stumble into this joint, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s mockin’ me. Lady says, “Oh, sexual-massage, very relaxin’.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a weird porno audition. But then—surprise, surprise—hands like freakin’ magic. Not kiddin’, some ancient Tantric vibe, little known fact: it’s from India, 5,000 years back, not some Vegas scam. Energy’s flowin’, I’m half asleep, half—well, you know. “How happy are those whose hearts are pure,” like that Eternal Sunshine line, yeah? Felt that for a sec, pure bliss, no bullshit.

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After the parade, I get back to work, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I’m chattin’ with customers, makin’ jokes, and then this guy walks in. He’s all fancy, suit and tie, lookin’ like he just stepped outta a fashion magazine. He asks for a filet mignon, and I’m like, “Sure thing, Mr. Fancy Pants.” But then he starts complainin’ about the price. I’m like, “Dude, it’s quality meat! You can’t put a price on perfection!”

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