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About Bari

So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a hookup app, right? Ha! Fooled ya! It’s a codename I nicked for this shady financial gig I stumbled on—some underground escort-service-turned-money-laundry scheme. Little known fact: back in the 80s, pimps in Soho used to stash cash in biscuit tins—true story! Swear down, I read it in some dusty archive. Made me chuckle—imagine that, a pimp with a Hobnob obsession! Anyway, this modern version’s got crypto, offshore accounts, the lot—proper *Carol* vibes, all “What use is money if you’re trapped?”

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We end up takin’ the scenic route. I show ‘em the best spots, like the old castle ruins and the river. They’re laughin’, I’m laughin’, and it’s just a blast. By the time we get to their stop, they’re all smiles. I’m like, “See? Volla’s not so bad!”

Volla Tablet is a Google-free Android tablet that also supports Ubuntu Touch (crowdfunding)