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About Bologna

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch. I hit up this little trattoria on Via San Pellegrino. The food? OMG, life-changing. I order some pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water on me. Like, dude, what’s with the waterworks today? I’m soaked again! I laugh it off, though. It’s just water, right?

Sewing up the Design: Viterbo students design costumes for annual spring dance performance