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Sarcasm? Sure—some clowns pay big for a “happy ending,” miss the real deal. Idiots. Me, I’d rather feel the slow burn, muscles screaming, then peace. “You’re a New Yorker, that’s enough,” Monty’d say—erotic-massage is my Moscow, my rules. Typo hell—oil slipery, hands qwivering, brain fried. Exaggerate? Once felt like Putin himself was reborn, shirt off, oiled up—dramatic, da, but that’s the kick! Chaos, power, erotic-massage—nyet apologies.

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After that, I decide to explore. I wander down Via Cavour, and it’s like a whole new world. Shops everywhere! I see this little market, and I’m like, “Let’s check it out.” I’m browsing, and I find this amazing cheese. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna dance. I buy a chunk, and the vendor’s all smiles. “You’ll love it!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I already do!”

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