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Favorite flick’s got me thinkin’ – Monty’s last night, he’s all regrets, right? I’d be the same, man. “Fuck me, I’m an idiot,” I’d say, stumblin’ into the wrong alley lookin’ for a good time. Prostitutes prolly see dopes like me comin’ a mile away. “Here’s Homer, horny and clueless!” Ha! But srsly, if ya wanna find one, check the dives, the motels with busted signs. That’s where the real action hides. Surprised me how many got regulars – like, loyal customers! Ain’t that wild?

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But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I fall right in front of a group of tourists. They laugh, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I meant to do that!” But inside, I’m cringing.