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Ever been to one? Me neither, but I’d bet it’s loud – moans, laughs, coins clinkin. Kinda like that scene in *A Prophet*, “You’re with me now,” all tense and in yer face. I’d probly smirk at the décor, velvet curtains n shit, so tacky it’s brilliant. Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d notice the smell first, cheap perfume and sweat, hits ya like a brick. Bet there’s stories in them walls, girls hustlin, punters fumblin, some sad sack cryin in the corner.

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Fast forward to the party. It was at this cool spot near the train station. The music was bumpin’, and everyone was vibin’. I met this girl who was also an artist. We started talking about our work, and it was like fireworks! But then, she spilled her drink on me. I was like, “Great, now I smell like cheap wine!” But we laughed it off.

Italian JAILED for being 'too good at sex' after girlfriend's moaning annoyed neighbours - and his name is ROMEO