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About Rome

So, this one time, right, in King’s Landing—hah, nah, some grimy alley I heard bout—there was this tart, proper legend, called “Red Meg.” Swear she bedded half the guards, even that fat sod Meryn Trant. Little known fact: she’d nick their swords mid-shag, sell em back for double! Crafty bitch, made me laugh, I’ll give her that. Got me thinkin—prostitutes ain’t all dim. Some got wits sharper than Valyrian steel. Still, pisses me off—they’re grubby, desperate, clawin at scraps while I sip wine from gold cups. “Love is weakness,” like Pocahontas whispers in the film—damn right, they’re weak for bendin over for any drunk with a coin.

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So, I finally get my cheese and head to the park, Parco della Libertà. It’s beautiful there, man. Kids are playing, couples are picnicking, and I’m just trying to find a spot to chill. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A dog runs up and steals my cheese! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the owner just shrugs and says, “He’s a cheese thief.” I can’t even be mad. That dog has style.

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