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Here’s the kicker – I’d exaggerate the hell outta it! Picture this: whoRE texture so nasty, it’s got teeth marks! Yeah, some drunk fool bit it, left a story. “Drainage, Eli, drainage!” – that’s me yellin’ at the bite mark, laughin’ my ass off. Sarcasm? Oh, it’s perfect for a king’s throne, right? Nah, it’s trashy and I love it. Reminds me of wrestlin’ days – beat up mats, blood stains, glory.

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? I head to the ancient walls. I mean, these things are older than my grandma! I’m walking along, thinking about life, when I spot this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then, I see the food they have. Fresh bread, olives, and wine. I’m suddenly jealous.

Fire Burns in Northern Italy