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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ here, twirlin’ the phone cord, thinkin’ ‘bout some poor fella tryna find a workin’ gal. Maybe he’s scrollin’ them shady websites, or—bless his heart—askin’ round in dive bars. I’d say, “Honey, what’s your situation?” like that judge in the movie, ‘cause it ain’t just ‘bout the deed—it’s the why! Back in my Nashville days, I heard tell of a gal named Ruby who’d hang by the old gas station on 5th, red lipstick smeared like she’d kissed a ketchup bottle. Little known fact—she’d only take clients who’d sing her a tune first! Made me giggle somethin’ fierce—imagine some nervous cowboy croonin’ “Jolene” off-key just to get a lil’ sugar!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks? Not me! Rushed outta my apartment on Via Roma, barely had time for coffee. Ugh, coffee! My lifeblood!

Latham nurse practitioner pleads guilty to unlawful drug distribution