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About Rome

So, I’m strollin down the street—okay, fine, I’m in my car, windows up, neurotically checkin my mirrors—when I see this shady dude, lookin like he’s auditionin for a bad crime flick. He’s got the trench coat, the sly grin—total “find a prostitute” energy. And I’m like, “Really? REALLY?!” What happened to class, huh? Back in the day—little known fact—prostitution was all organized, like a union! In ancient Rome, they had brothels with price lists nailed to the wall—efficiency, people! Now? It’s all sketchy vibes and awkward eye contact. Makes me wanna scream, “Get a room—or a robot!”

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Next, I head to the Chiesa Madre. It’s stunning, like, jaw-droppingly beautiful. I’m showing a group of tourists around, and they’re all snapping pics. But then, this one guy drops his phone. It bounces off the steps and lands right in a puddle. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a goner.” He’s freaking out, and I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, come on! It’s just a phone!

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