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About Florence

I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What animal are you?” – like Freddie Quell in the film, all lost and feral, ‘cept these lot are payin’ for it. Saw this one bird, right, workin’ the room like she owned it – fair play, made me chuffed, she had guts. But then some wanker starts hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. “Oi, you twat, it’s not a bloody negotiation!” I wanted to scream. Surprised me, though, how calm she stayed – ice cold, propa legend.

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Finally, I get back, and I’m ready to cut some wood. But guess what? My saw decides to take a vacation. Just stops working. I’m there, staring at it like it owes me money. I kicked it a little—okay, maybe a lot—and it roared back to life. I felt like a mechanic and a carpenter all in one.

Italian mayor offers 'gun bonus' to citizens