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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Meet me at the fountain!” So, I hustle over to Piazza della Libertà. The fountain’s all lit up, and it’s actually kinda magical. But Marco? He’s late. Classic Marco. I’m standing there, looking like a lost tourist, and I can’t help but laugh.

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