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Movie moment hits me – “War’s dirty little secret,” they say in “Hurt Locker.” Same with this game, mate! It’s messy, raw, unpredictable. Once heard a tale – some prossie in Amsterdam, right, kept a ledger, tracked every john like a bleedin’ scholar! Had maps, notes, the lot – smarter than half the hobbits I know! Surprised me, that did – who’da thought? Makes ye wonder what else they’re hidin’.

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After that, I’m feelin’ good again. I head to the gelato shop on Via dei Fiori. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He’s like, “Sorry, we’re out.” I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m about to lose it again.

Mqabba fireworks at Italy festival