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About Naples

Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Suddenly, a kid runs into me. I spill my water all over myself. Great. Just great. I’m standing there, soaked, and the kid’s mom is apologizing like crazy. I’m like, “No worries, it’s just water!” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon, kid! Watch where you’re going!

Spring blossoms draw visitors to northern Italy's natural park