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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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So, I finally make it to the job site. We’re up in the hills, near the old castle ruins. The view is sick, man. You can see the whole valley. But then, my buddy Marco shows up late. Typical Marco. He’s like, “Sorry, bro, traffic on Via della Repubblica.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a two-lane road! How do you get stuck?”

Coping in an Italian Castle (Published 1989)